I came up with this one tonight when my kids asked me for a ghost story.
There once was a ghost who lived in an old house and haunted it. Because, well, you know, that’s what they’re supposed to do. Things went along fine. There were bats in the attic and owls and spiders and cobwebs and all the things that haunted houses should have.
Until the day a family bought it and moved in. They fixed it up a little, working on it while they lived there. They were a funny family who laughed a lot, they really liked the hou.
Of course, the ghost had to go about and keep haunting the place, because, well that’s what ghosts are supposed to do. And he did his very best to scare them.
But the thing was, he was really clumsy.
He’d haunt around the house, but he’d always bump into things and knock them over and they’d fall and crash and he’d feel just terrible about it.
He was constantly tripping over his chains.
And when he stumbled on the attic stairs, which he always did, he made a complete racket all through the house.
He didn’t feel at all like he was scary the way he was supposed to be, he just felt silly. He felt so bad about it, sometimes he would just sit up in the attic and cry, and cry, and cry his eyes out… well, if he had eyes he would. So he cried, you know, ghost tears. But he would wail and moan because he was so sad.
Finally he decided he couldn’t keep going on and left the house, even though he kind of liked it there. He wandered around feeling very low for a while, and eventually came to an old house. It was the kind of a house a ghost would like to haunt, and sure enough there was a ghost already living there.
The two of them got to talking and the clumsy ghost ended up telling his new friend about his troubles. The ghost said he was a great haunter and loved to do it. They decided to go haunting together at a nearby house so the clumsy ghost cold pick up some tips.
But when they got there, the clumsy ghost worried he was too clumsy and decided to just watch. His new ghost friend went into the room and knocked over a vase. The people who lived there were really startled.
Then he rattled his chains. The people wondered what the sound was and were quite alarmed.
The ghost then said he liked to stomp up the attic stairs usually at this point. The family was really getting nervous. The ghost said he had something that always worked, and then he started to wail and moan.
The family was so scared they ran from the house and jumped into their car and drove away as fast as they could. The ghost laughed and laughed like he had never had so much fun.
But the clumsy ghost just stared in astonishment. That was everything he did, but of course he did it because he was so clumsy. But somehow, the people in his house didn’t get scared. Maybe it wasn’t him after all, maybe it was… them.
The ghosts decided to go back to the clumsy ghost’s house and scare them together to find out.
Things had changed since the clumsy ghost had left. The house hadn’t been more fixed up, it was the family who had changed. They seemed sad somehow.
The clumsy ghost, of course, being very clumsy, accidentally tripped and knocked over a vase full of flowers. And his chains rattled as he fell.
The sound made everyone look. And smile. The little girl asked, “Ghost, are you back?”
The ghosts looked at each other in surprise. The family liked the ghost and wanted to live in a haunted house. They weren’t scared at all. The ghost, this time on purpose, rattled his chains and moaned a little moan.
The family let out a happy cheer. And they decided to make popcorn and drink apple cider to celebrate.
And the ghosts wailed and decided to go up to the attic to see the cobwebs and spiders. And they all lived happily ever after… well, except for the ghosts, because, you know, they’re dead already and all.